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Why Do I Blog?

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The Letter Writer

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Over on Michael Hyatt's blog, he discusses the reason he blogs, the mental games he plays about the practice, what it means when readership fails to grow.

Why do I blog?

I like to tell stories. I like to share information. I like to be connected and I like people to want to be connected to me. I believe I have an insight (on at least some issues) that could be useful or beneficial to someone else out there in the world.

Why don't I blog?

If you've been a reader for a long time [read: since the beginning of the blog via CMS in 2002 or when I was still hand-writing all of my HTML back in 1997], you'll know that I had a great period of writing a great amount of content. I would write short posts, long posts, rants and reflections. I would write about the Church, school, politics, TV, news, anything and everything. I didn't really worry about what people would think when they read the post; although, by nature, I'm not a person whose unfiltered thoughts would offend a great deal of people.

I stopped blogging, I believe, because I became afraid to say the wrong thing. I did not want to give anyone the wrong idea about anything. I did not want my position as a campus minister negatively influence someone if I wrote something challenging, something showing weakness, something "pissy". Now that I'm in sales, same thing again. I don't want to offend a client, or potential client, by being myself.

That's no way to govern a blog. Yes, a blog should appeal to the reader but the writer cannot appease anyone and everyone.

I am currently in a leadership showcase program presented by SOS Leadership looking specifically at goal-setting. As part of this week's exercise, I decided that I truly enjoyed blogging (when I actually did it well) and that I was a happier person when I was able to crystallize my thought via this process. Therefore, I shall blog once again.
I'll still look at my stats, investigate what search terms brought people to the site and whatnot, but for a blog to be successful, well-read, enjoyable for author and reader, the author must be free to write about what is on his mind and not filter out every topic out of fear of the reader or the reader's reaction.

Seeking Prayer

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A man praying at a Japanese Shintō shrine.

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O God,
You are beyond my understanding. Your ways are known to you alone. Your ways are good and amazing. The gifts and blessings you have bestowed upon me are more than I could ask for, more than I deserve. Thank you.

Fr. Louis once prayed hoping that the desire to please you does, in fact, please you. I pray that his words were inspired. I beg of your forgiveness and mercy. I am weak, incompetent, incapable without you. When my spirit is willing, my strength is your strength. My abilities are from you. 

Prayer isn't easy. Prayer is hard. I know that there's no right or wrong way to pray if prayer comes from a sincere heart, but nevertheless, I struggle to find the right words, the right way to convey what I wish to share in our relationship; although, you already know and understand it better than I do. 

I pray through Jesus Christ who is one God together with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Lent 2010

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Verhülltes Kreuz während der Karwoche der röm....

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It is precisely in this that God proves his love for us: that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Now that we have been justified by his blood, it is all the more certain that we shall be saved by him from God's wrath.
- Romans 5:8-9

Tonight's Evening Prayer reading is more confident than I am. Today's one of those days where I related more to the midmorning reading:

Our crimes and our sins weigh us down; we are rotting away because of them. How can we survive? As I live, says the Lord, I swear I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked man, but rather in the wicked man's conversion, that he may live.
- Ezekiel 3:10b,11a

Besides 8th grade, I have never been "good" at Lent. I truly am a "bad Catholic" when it comes into preparing for the mysteries of Holy Week and Easter. My Lenten observances didn't make it a day. I went technical and ate meat this last Friday--March 19th was the solemnity of St. Joseph and thus, according to Canon 1251, not a day of abstinence. We're now into the fifth week of Lent and I'm still football fields away from being where I should be entering into the most holy time of our year.

I know better. I'm a happier person when I'm taking an active role in my faith life. By active, I'm not referring to really actually doing anything, but simply praying. It seems like a no brainer that if I'm more myself when I pray, I should pray more. Then again, the entire message of Christianity is, boiled down, love, which has already been written on our hearts (CCC 27), and we're still pretty bad at that.

I digress.

As a human people, we've been trying to get closer to God and thus closer to our true nature for quite some time. The Jewish faith is five thousand years old. The God-man gave himself up for us to be able to realized our true humanity two thousand years ago. The Church has progressed (mostly) for that time, giving us additional aids, guides, suggestions, hints, paths, writings, techniques and examples to make it easy to figure it out.

Yet, we don't.

The battle between good and evil still wages on. The big picture stuff--as a society, we still condone killing people (unborn babies to felons to the terminally ill to those who lack utility to the poor) and we condone basically any action if we twist it around enough. What amazes me more is that the battle between good and evil still wages on in each of our hearts. As a baptized member of the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church with all of the resources of 2,000 years of tradition at my fingertips, literally (the Internet is good too), the battle to reach my eternal home is still in the opening round.

That's the kicker to me. There is still a battle going on, but there's no reason that it should be. I have the tools, resources and graces needed to make this a cosmic version of my 5th grade football team playing against the 2005 National Champion Texas Longhorns. Why don't we take advantage of what is freely offered to us?

As we enter these final weeks of Lent, may we try to pray this prayer:
Father of love, source of all blessings,
help us to pass from our old life of sin
to the new life of grace.
Prepare us for the glory of your kingdom.
We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.

Watch This

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Daniel Cardinal DiNardo, the Cardinal-Archbishop of Galveston/Houston recently spoke at the Houston Baptist University. A great reflection heading into the ending weeks of Lent.


This is from a few days ago. When I arrived at work on Wednesday, I was asked to lead a communion service since all of our priests were at a convocation with the Bishop and the individual who was to do the communion service was completely swamped all of a sudden. I wrote up a quick few notes.

In today's First Reading from the Book of Tobit, we have both Tobit and Sarah having some trouble.

Tobit, as we heard yesterday, has been blinded with cataracts and his quite frustrated about it, lashing out at his wife and her calling him own it - "where are your charitable deeds now--your true character is finally showing itself!"

We pick up the story today with Tobit realizing the error of his ways and calling out to God, aware of both his faults and the faults of all of the chosen people. He ends his prayer asking God to take life from him, since it's better not to live than to live aware of his unworthiness.

Sarah's problems come from this maid. Sarah had seven husbands die on her--who knows why--and the maid is continually insulting her. In the end, she too asks God to take her life from her than to live in such constant abuse.

They both put their grief and struggles into the hands of God.

While in their own spiritual dark nights, God took their grief and depression and raised them up--giving sight to Tobit, so he can live with renewed understanding of his action and driving the demons out of Sarah and allowing her to marry again.

Now, in the Gospel, we have something of the opposite. The Sadducces is questioning Jesus, with a veiled attack on Jesus' foretold resurrection of the dead. They failed to acknowledge the power of God and are forcing their image of what the afterlife would be like on God. Won't the next life just like this one?

No, Jesus responds, we're destined to be like the angels. He's reminding them, and us, that as God is the God of the living, we're not bound to death nor of the bonds of this world. In heaven, we'll all be in a true and pure relationship with one another--husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, best friends or enemies will all fade away as we enter into true relationship with one another with God in heaven.

In short, we must remember that we are not citizens of this world, but of heaven. We are not to put all of our faith and trust into things of this world, or what we understand of this world. We're to leave in the hands of God our shortcomings, our doubts and our desires and have faith in his power to raise them up, as he will do to ourselves and the departed on the last day.
I wrote this yesterday while sitting in a coffee shop in Houston, away from a computer or an Internet connection.

The Office of Readings for [yesterday] (Saturday of the 7th Week of Easter) had two interesting readings: the first was the entire third letter of St. John (don't worry, it is only 14 verses) and the second was from a sermon from "a sixth-century African author".

The third letter of John is telling of some unrest in the developing church. John writes to Gaius, first discussing those that help the brothers even though they are strangers. Later, he voices frustration that the leader of the local church (who according to St. John loves being a leader) not only doesn't help fellow members of the faith who travel into his area, but forbids, on pain of excommunication, anyone from the church to assist. 

The sixth-century author writes more of the unity of the church. The author mentions that at the first Pentecost (the birthday of the Church, which [was celebrated today]), the apostles could speak all languages and that was seen as a sign of the Spirit. Yet today (both in the sixth and twenty-first centuries), few after their confirmation are blessed with such a gift. What are we to reply when we are quested about this disparity?

We do, in fact, speak all languages, as we are members of the Church, the body of Christ, and the Church speaks all languages. Ergo, God's promise of speaking in tongues is true in our unity. Our gifts are not only the gifts which we are individually blessed with, but the gifts of the entire community.

Additionally, therefore, as we benefit from the gifts given to all, we are to share our gifts with the community. 

While our Christian church is quite fragmented--Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant, these new "Faith" preachers, etc--and our common efforts to reflect the unity we are called to aren't always actually helpful (e.g. some Christian denominations making a very public action of transferring ministers of one faith into another), we must strive to that unity. 

How are we to do this? Through dialog, discussion, prayer. We must represent our faith true to our understanding, but open to others. We must look at Scripture, tradition and the intersection of these things with open minds and hearts. We must strive to understand the correct role of the Bible, the correct role of Tradition, the reason for both the words in Scripture and the root of Tradition. We do not need to look exactly alike, but there must be a common standard.

For the Church, we see the unity in the role of Peter quite important, but more so, the source and summit of our faith--the Eucharist--the humble bread and wine being transformed through the power granted to the priest as part of the one sacrifice on the Cross into the Body and Blood of Christ that we are mandated to consume and share.

It's a long road, but one that must be traveled, if we're to witness to the Glory of God the Father through Jesus Christ.

The Office of Readings--the entire office actually--is so full of wisdom. The entire Liturgy of the Church directs us to a life enhanced to the fullness of the Word--Our Lord, Jesus Christ.

There is a Great Silence

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Today is Holy Saturday. The day Jesus spent in the tomb. For a reflection today, I repost what I wrote in March 2005 in this blog:


Today is Holy Saturday. The Church throughout the whole world is silent today. Most all sacramental functions are forbidden- even Holy Communion may only be given as Viaticum. The Church is silent today as we, in solidarity with the original disciples, wait and pray for the return of our Lord. 2000 years ago, the apostles were frightened for they had not understood the lessons Christ gave to them before his death. They did not fully understand what his death meant for him or for them. On this day, after his death and before his rising to new life, they sat and prayed.

The prayers of our Sacred Triduum are on-going. We started this season on the evening of Holy Thursday with the Mass of the Lord's Supper. We departed in silence and we gathered again on Good Friday. Without any introduction, we began to pray again as we recalled our Savior's Passion. We left again in silence. Tonight, we will gather again in darkness without fanfare or introduction. We gather together to hold vigil for the return of Jesus the Christ.

We are lucky for through our place in time we know that the death of the Son of Man was not an end. We are lucky for we know that it was only through his death that the beginning of new life may be found. The death he died he died to sin once and for all. Today, we join outside the bounds of time with all the Christian faithful before and after us in praying for the rising of Christ to new life. Just as in Advent as we pray for the coming of the Lord through both his nativity, as a reminder of what happened 2000 years ago, and also his Second Coming, so we too during this Sacred day pray in silence for his light to shine in the world once again. 2000 years ago, they prayed for his return to life. Today, we pray that the Light of Christ will shine in us again. Today, we pray that the Risen Lord will again conquer sin and death and enter into our hearts.

Below is a beautiful ancient homily on Holy Saturday. In it, Christ decends to find all those who had fallen to the sleep of death and he finds Adam. Christ explains his sacrifice to him in great symbolic language.

Something strange is happening--there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep. The earth trembled and is still because God has fallen asleep in the flesh and he has raised up all who have slept ever since the world began. God has died in the flesh and hell trembles with fear.

He has gone to search for our first parent, as for a lost sheep. Greatly desiring to visit those who live in darkness and in the shadow of death, he has gone to free from sorrow the captives Adam and Eve, he who is both God and the son of Eve. The Lord approached them bearing the cross, the weapon that had won him the victory. At the sight of him Adam, the first man he had created, struck his breast in terror and cried out to everyone: "My Lord be with you all." Christ answered him: "And with your spirit." He took him by the hand and raised him up, saying: "Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will give you light."

I am your God, who for your sake have become your son. Out of love for you and for your descendants I now by my own authority command all who are held in bondage to come forth, all who are in darkness to be enlightened, all who are sleeping to arise. I order you, O sleeper, to awake. I did not create you to be held a prisoner in hell. Rise from the dead, for I am the life of the dead. Rise up, work of my hands, you who were created in my image. Rise, let us leave this place, for you are in me and I am in you; together we form only one person and we cannot be separated.

For your sake I, your God, became your son; I, the Lord, took the form of a slave; I, whose home is above the heavens, descended to the earth and beneath the earth. For your sake, for the sake of man, I became like a man without help, free among the dead. For the sake of you, who left a garden, I was betrayed to the Jews in a garden, and I was crucified in a garden.

See on my face the spittle I received in order to restore to you the life I once breathed into you. See there the marks of the blows I received in order to refashion your warped nature in my image. On my back see the marks of the scourging I endured to remove the burden of sin that weighs upon your back. See my hands, nailed firmly to a tree, for you who once wickedly stretched out your hand to a tree.

I slept on the cross and a sword pierced my side for you who slept in paradise and brought forth Eve from your side. My side has healed the pain in yours. My sleep will rouse you from your sleep in hell. The sword that pierced me has sheathed the sword that was turned against you.

Rise, let us leave this place. The enemy led you out of the earthly paradise. I will not restore you to that paradise, but I will enthrone you in heaven. I forbade you the tree that was only a symbol of life, but see, I who am life itself am now one with you. I appointed cherubim to guard you as slaves are guarded, but now I make them worship you as God. The throne formed by cherubim awaits you, its bearers swift and eager. The bridal chamber is adorned, the banquet is ready, the eternal dwelling places are prepared, the treasure houses of all good things lie open. The kingdom of heaven has been prepared for you from all eternity.


Our shepherd, the source of the water of life, has died. The sun was darkened when he passed away. But now man's captor is made captive. - This is the day when our Savior broke through the gates of death. He has destroyed the barricades of hell, overthrown the sovereignty of the devil. - This is the day when our Savior broke through the gates of death.

-- From an ancient homily of Holy Saturday, Office of Readings

The Final Week

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Now that we've celebrated the Sixth Sunday of Lent, which is actually Palm Sunday, so now past almost all of Lenten journey toward Easter. I pray that it was a beneficial one for you. Mine... well... let's say that it started with me enjoying a homemade pizza on the First Friday of Lent, complete with turkey pepperoni. It wasn't until that night that I realized my error.

Sometimes, Lent is "productive" from this first day. We pray more, we give more, we examine ourselves more. We choose wisely what to give up and what extra to do. Not only do we have the best of intentions, but we practice it to the closest thing to perfection on this side of heaven.

But of course, sometimes, Lent is a struggle. We want to pray more, but it never quite happens. Most of Lent passes us by before we remember we're supposed to be using this holy season to prepare ourselves for the celebration of Easter. Our practice leaves much to be desired.

For me, this Lent was more of the latter. I spoke with Vanessa at great length about various practices and why I felt those things would help me prepare for Easter, but never settled on any of them, much less practice them well. Prayer did come, but I'd like to do it more.

Now, the season is nearly over. 

The silver lining on this Lent-that-should-have-been-more is that it still brings the awareness that I'm far from where I should be. The need for Christ is all the more present. If I was already perfect, why would I need salvation? No, I need salvation. I need the healing of Christ. I need the love of God to touch me. I need.

By the accounts of this world, if I were to receive a report card on Easter Sunday, I would rather not look at my Lenten grade. The beauty of this grade report is that it is not permanent.  I have the full glory of God before me and am able to ask for something quite amazing. Being able to ask and receive the forgiveness of God, being able to ask and receive the grace of God, being able to ask and receive faith. As we enter into these last days, my lack of fully entering into the season has reminded me of my need for the reason of the season--Jesus Christ.

Perhaps this Lent has been much more successful that what appeared at first glance.

More poverty posts online

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At midnight and a few minutes ago, another couple of posts from me as part of Blog Action Day 2008 are online at Catholic Thinker.

Blog Action Day Post

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I'm posting a few entries over at Catholic Thinker for Blog Action Day. The first one (for 5:00 pm) is already online.

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